The Official “CAN’T FAIL” New Year’s Resolution List for 2016
New Year’s Eve is famous (or, for that matter, infamous) for having to make New Year’s Resolutions which often end up being broken. So, in order to provide some assistance, here is a list of New Year’s Resolutions and how they can be kept, easily.
- RESOLVE to eat all of the Brussels sprouts you order. (…If you don’t order them, you don’t have to eat them…)
- RESOLVE not to eat any pizza with extra anchovies. (…If you don’t like anchovies, it’s easy !…)
- RESOLVE to get more exercise whenever you are off the couch. (…Remain on the couch, and it’s a cinch…)
- RESOLVE to stop nagging the kids to clean up their room. (…Make them move out of the house, and this one is easy, too…)
- RESOLVE to walk the dog three times daily. (…Get a cat, instead, and you won’t break this one…)
- RESOLVE to reduce your alcohol intake each and every day. (…Wait until the afternoon, and this one is a slam dunk…)
- RESOLVE to be more responsive to your friends and family. (…Allow your voice mailbox to fill up, set your e-mail to out-of-office reply…and it’s that easy…)
- RESOLVE to vote for whichever candidate does not bother you with phone calls, during the week leading up to Election Day. (…That way, you don’t need to bother voting, at all…)
- RESOLVE to never forget your spouse/partner’s birthday or anniversary. (…Find someone who was born on February 30th and marry them on the 31st of April, and you’ll never forget- ever!…)
- RESOLVE to wait until tomorrow, to do whatever you need to do, today. (Yet another “CAN’T POSSIBLY FAIL”…)
This list has served us quite well for many years…perhaps it will work for you, too… Happy New Year !
-Drew Nickell, 30 December 2015
©2015 by Drew Nickell, all rights reserved.